(no subject)

[2eclipse]

gah.
my sister's dog died.
lymphoma.
it was a schnauzer who barked ALL the time. i HATED that dog. it had all kinds of aggression problems too.
but my sister will be totally torn up about it.
so now i have the dilemma....is it unethical for me to send a card given how much i hated that dog?

Comments

[lucifermourning.livejournal.com]

you send a card because you are sorry your sister is suffering and you want her to know you are thinking about her and hoping she feels better soon. as far as i'm concerned, a sympathy card, even for a human, has not much to do with the deceased but rather with those suffering the loss. all the more so when the deceased is an animal.
the only unethical thing would be to write about how much you'll miss the dog. i would see it as far more unethical to not reach out to your sister when she is suffering, simply because you are not suffering too.

[2eclipse.livejournal.com]

i thought of that too. that's part of why i feel torn. because aren't we responsible for the misconceptions that we allow for as well as the things we actually say? if this were a different kind of issue and i allowed her to assume that i gave two shits about that dog she could be very hurt/pissed when she found out otherwise. in this particular situation she is not likely to ever know, but i think it is worth considering.

[lucifermourning.livejournal.com]

wouldn't she be more hurt if she thought you didn't care about what was going through?

and 'i'm sorry for your loss, i know you must be feeling terrible, i hope you feel better', etc. doesn't say anything about you liking her dog, it says you're sorry she's suffering.

[2eclipse.livejournal.com]

i think you are right about that.
and it is probably what i will do. i think it is just one of those situations where you can't feel entirely good about the situation.