very little makes me grumpier....

[2eclipse]

than the taste of someone else's crow.

my last day here is probably the 22nd.
as we near physical inventory my boss is getting tense. he calls me into his office and then doesn't want to hear what i have to say. he interrupts a lot. i have responded to this by saying less. mostly he just doesn't call me in at all - he call's jory. i feel a mixture of relief and irritation about this. part of me still wants to be included and feel like my opinion is valued.
this morning one of the inside sales people came over upset because there had been a receiving error. some of her customer's parts had been here for 2 weeks and had not been received. this happened while i was gone, but beyond that, jory has been doing the receiving for over a month now.
never-the-less, we BOTH got hauled into bill's office and lectured. receiving errors are rare, but he got freaked out over these and is having jory do needless research on them that will result in nothing positive.
i am finding it hard to care about my work - except to feel a bit sorry for jory. it seemed like the lecture was 1/3 reasonable, 1/3 bill's tension about inventory and 1/3 a show put on to appease the saleswoman. i have tolerance for only the first 3rd of that. nothing seems to apply to me anymore. i am looking forward to this job being done and i feel sad about that.
i think, where is God in this? it is a lesson in humility certainly, obviously i need to be taught that i am not too good to be bored and required to suffer my time to be wasted. i have no idea how to handle this gracefully. i would rather be playing my bagpipes and writing my paper.

Comments

[mirage897.livejournal.com]

:hug:

I am sorry to hear about this. I think if I were in your place I would not be thrilled about a paper also.

[2eclipse.livejournal.com]

i'm actually really excited about the paper. i've changed my topic and my advisor and i feel like i have a lot to say and a convincing argument to make. best yet, i think it is an argument that no one else has made in quite this way. the difficult thing is nailing down time to work on it. people keep doing interesting distracting things and including me!

[karpouzian.livejournal.com]

What is your paper on again?

[2eclipse.livejournal.com]

i am going to call it "my brother's keeper" and it will be on freedom, free will and poverty in america. that's the short answer. the long answer won't fit on an lj-reply. :)
you can call me sometime if you want more.

Where is God in this?

[karpouzian.livejournal.com]

"It is a lesson in humility certainly, obviously i need to be taught that i am not too good to be bored and required to suffer my time to be wasted. i have no idea how to handle this gracefully. i would rather be playing my bagpipes and writing my paper."

Where is God in this? Well, I know it sounds counterintuitive, but even if they aren't Christians (or are), God has put them in authority over us, and we are told to pray for them. When was the last time you prayed for your boss (and not just for a large, heavy object to fall on him?) A lesson in humility, perhaps, but I think if there is a lesson involved, perhaps it is "Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth." OR maybe not :)

Re: Where is God in this?

[2eclipse.livejournal.com]

actually i REALLY like my boss.
he's got a sense of humor and he doesn't lose his temper or talk down to people or micro-manage. bill is awesome.
he's just grumpy right now.
but i admit i forget to pray for people i know unless something bad is happening to them. i pray more for people i don't know and politicians i don't like.

[sidhebear.livejournal.com]

This is probably going to sound really really strange coming from me, but that's because I don't really have words for it yet, it's just something I do, am, and live with.

I take my joy in victory, whether it be from improving someone's day, or their mood without actually affecting their day, or solving a problem that I was faced with. Victory is really the wrong word, but perhaps it's two fields. One of which involves solving other people's problems, and one of which involves solving problems in general.

The main thing I somehow managed to instinctively take away from this whole work and/or life perception I have of things is something of an "I'm not done yet" stance.

Most often, it involves putting a lot of stuff on the back burner and leaving it as "the best I could do" or "the best I was allowed to do" at the time, but the fact that I can't finish something right now doesn't mean I can't finish it later in a different (usually seemingly non-related)way. Not always the best option for my sanity, but sometimes the only option when other things are taken into consideration.

I'm beginning to think that it's pretty uniquely my thought process, but I don't exactly spend a lot of time quizzing other people about it.

I also don't assume it'll work for anyone else, but for me, it means that I'm rarely ruled by any situation or instance.

Regardless of my comfort level with a situation, especially when it's partially out of my control, the situation itself gets put in a sort of limbo.

If it's important, I trust it'll come up until I recognize it, recall what I'm supposed to from it, or learn to face whatever I need to from it, whether it be some random phone number, a person I couldn't see I'd wronged at the time, the name and details of a rarely used software program that I otherwise wouldn't have remembered if I'd laid the whole experience to rest initially, or an insight into a personal imrovement I was blind to at the time. When something haunts my dreams it's rarely serving a purpose other than torture. I tend to kindly invite things back when they'd like to become productive thoughts at that point.

I guess maybe the question I'm trying to ask is, what do you really feel that you could happily spend the rest of your life doing?

[sidhebear.livejournal.com]

You know, I think if I could ever manage to remove some of the inherent "preachy college professor" tone from these sorts of posts, and add in a few good anecdotes, I might actually be able to tend bar in Ten Forward.

Of course I'd need a large floppy hat made out of carpet and some softer eyes, but maybe wardrobe and makeup could help with that.