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most of this week i have felt like wheat bran with too much milk poured over it.
i have been unaccountably tired and two days ago came home achey and it has not mattered one bit to everything i have had to do except that my house is messy.
i am hoping that it is just because i played too hard over the weekend, but i went into the doctor yesterday anyway and got a blood test for that tick i found on my foot. grrrr...i am REALLY hoping that i don't have to go back on doxycycline. the past two nights i have also gone to bed early....this was a particularly good thing this morning because i forgot to set my alarm...but still woke up at an acceptable time to get dressed, take care of hygeine, pack a lunch...that i only just now remembered i don't need because i have a lunch date with a friend's dad today....and get to work on time. i just got half a cup of coffee instead of a full one.
i have been writing letters to my family recently; to my niece who has recently gone to a boarding school that will help her with some of her behavioral/emotional problems and looks like a very good place for her, to my nephew who has spent half his summer traveling and is currently in cape verde, to my sister who needs support from the family for the hard choice to send my niece to school. i feel like i am purging something...which is weird because if you read the letters they don't contain the sort of things one keeps contained and then needs to purge.
i think it has to do with being in a place of change right now. i just wish i had more energy with which to address this change. i want to encourage it and i feel like i can't because all i want to do is go back to bed. i have been getting things done instead, but it has taken considerable will power that i would like to be directing at change instead. i am motivated to look at my insecurities and response to them in ways previously unconsidered....i just want to be awake for it.
i have been unaccountably tired and two days ago came home achey and it has not mattered one bit to everything i have had to do except that my house is messy.
i am hoping that it is just because i played too hard over the weekend, but i went into the doctor yesterday anyway and got a blood test for that tick i found on my foot. grrrr...i am REALLY hoping that i don't have to go back on doxycycline. the past two nights i have also gone to bed early....this was a particularly good thing this morning because i forgot to set my alarm...but still woke up at an acceptable time to get dressed, take care of hygeine, pack a lunch...that i only just now remembered i don't need because i have a lunch date with a friend's dad today....and get to work on time. i just got half a cup of coffee instead of a full one.
i have been writing letters to my family recently; to my niece who has recently gone to a boarding school that will help her with some of her behavioral/emotional problems and looks like a very good place for her, to my nephew who has spent half his summer traveling and is currently in cape verde, to my sister who needs support from the family for the hard choice to send my niece to school. i feel like i am purging something...which is weird because if you read the letters they don't contain the sort of things one keeps contained and then needs to purge.
i think it has to do with being in a place of change right now. i just wish i had more energy with which to address this change. i want to encourage it and i feel like i can't because all i want to do is go back to bed. i have been getting things done instead, but it has taken considerable will power that i would like to be directing at change instead. i am motivated to look at my insecurities and response to them in ways previously unconsidered....i just want to be awake for it.
