greeted by snow.

i am back from florida.

and surprised at how glad i am to be back.
there is something about the south that shouts "home" to me. something that wakes up inside me only in the presence of southern land and sunshine. i felt it as soon as i got off the plane. there is something i need that comes only from being in the south. i don't need it all the time, but i do need it.
thursday i went to the leu botanical gardens. it was incredible. live oak and crepe myrtle hung with spanish moss, bald cypress and sohrgum trees, rose gardens that sent their perfume chasing after me through the camellias and the taste of lemon verbena and chocolate mint stinging my lips. i felt alive in a way i haven't felt in a long time.
you can take the girl out of the south, but you can't take the south out of the girl.
there is something about the south that calls me and something in me that only answers when i am there.
i also got to help chase a gorgeous yellow rat snake off the front porch of the house on the grounds. it was at least 4 feet long and was endangering itself by hanging out under the rockers of the rocking chairs on the porch. i've never seen a snake that big in the wild before.

i only wish ross could have been with me. he had such a hard time when he lived in north carolina that all his impressions of the south are bad. it hurts me sometimes that he is missing out on the beauty i feel. but he had to work. i went to the convention on friday and also to a craft show that was going on at the same convention center. it was okay, but nothing special. i got some free magazines, but didn't buy anything. it was mostly a scrapbooking and bead-making event and i'm not really into those things. i did manage to re-read shogun in its entirety. so good. always so good.

i didn't post much or e-mail much while i was gone. i think i needed a break from EVERYTHING that was a demand on me. i tried replying to some e-mails and i did do a little schoolwork....but i really needed to relax completely and every time i started to do something that involved real thinking i started immediately to stress out again...i had to stop. if that means i didn't get back to any of you as fast as you'd like, i'm sorry. i really needed to put the stress away for a while. i'm doing way too much this semester and sometimes that means i have to take time for me even at the expense of what i'd like to be giving my friends. i just don't have the energy for everything and this was the one chance i'm going to have this semester for a break.

but i must have gotten my fill of whatever i needed because i was very happy to be back. i missed madeliene and our house and friends...actually i still miss my friends, but that's another matter. i was even glad to see the snow. i'm ready for winter even if i'm not ready for xmas. i just don't have any ideas for anyone yet and that depresses me. normally i have LOTS of ideas by this time. jory picked me up at the airport and he and simona and i went out for mexican food. very yum.
then i vacuumed and did laundry and changed the sheets in our room and ordered an allergy barrier for our duvet cover...and mulled apple cider with rum and mulling spices on the stove. the whole house smells good.

ross will be home when i get there and i'm really hoping he is there to receive my phone - assuming they haven't already tried to deliver it. sprint ROYALLY messed me up last week. grrrr. that is why i miss my friends. i can't bloody talk to them! the problem with vacations is that you come back to all the frustrations you left behind. i'm lucky. most of my frustrations today have been minimal. and i've been able to take the attitude i want to take to get my work problems resolved quickly....or at least to minimize the contention. it feels good to be able to diffuse potentially volatile situations. i just need to remember to take things one at a time. and that while i do have to pay for my own food at the holiday lunch at champs tomorrow - i still get paid for the time. there are good things to balance the stress. i just need to remember to look for them.