more nightmares...

( first dream cut for grossness )

the second dream was two nights later and even scarier. i was in bulgaria near some castle ruins (probably daywash from reading the historian) and clouds of fire filled with...something like bats or insects...kept falling from the sky and immolating people. the bat/insects gave the fire something LIKE volition of it's own, so that it could steer a little and they made this chirring noise that was really frightinging. it was like an insect's chirring, but more indicitive of small chitinous parts, like the creepy feeling of a spider or a cockroach crawling on you. and the clouds of fire full of them would rush down out of nowhere and burn people up. sometimes only part of them - that was worse.
so i was running to hide and trying to get people out of the building and then i got this bird's eye view of where this fire was landing there was a streak of it across the mountains like a backwards "y", but it only told me where we needed to get people away from, not any insight into why or how this was happening. i woke terrified that it was real.
ross was next to me, but i didn't wake him. he really needs his sleep right now.

meme and an excuse to use the word shrubbery

been on a serious reading kick lately.
in a matter of days i have read the historian, blackberry wine(by joane harris, the author of chocolat), the country of the young and i am most of the way through master and commander. the last book is very different from the russel crow movie. i usually read fantasy, but i am vastly enjoying this kick of regular fiction.

much to do today including dropping off applications and tax forms(follow-up stuff, we're not late), picking up more jeans for ross and planting shrubbery!

You scored as II - The High Priestess. The High Priestess is a card of intuition, instinct and hidden knowledge. She knows all your secrets, you can hide nothing from her. Yet you will never know the secrets she herself protects.If well aspected in a Tarot spread, this card can indicate the use of intuition to solve problems; trust to your instincts. If badly aspected, it can mean suppression and ignoring of such instincts - following your head at the expense of your heart. </td> II - The High Priestess 88% IV - The Emperor 81% VIII - Strength 75% III - The Empress 75% XIX: The Sun 69% VI: The Lovers 69% I - Magician 63% XIII: Death 63% X - Wheel of Fortune 63% XVI: The Tower 63% 0 - The Fool 56% XI: Justice 50% XV: The Devil 44% Which Major Arcana Tarot Card Are You? created with QuizFarm.com

questions about fear

aryaluna and mirage897 have got me truly interested in this today.

i hate being scared. i just hate it. i don't like scary suspense either. the only scary movies i really like are the ludicrous ones like cemetery man and frighteners and the army of darkness stuff. hell, i don't even like roller-coasters and have only learned to tolerate them by getting LESS scared of them. the only shiver that is a good shiver from reading scary books is when i already know what is going to happen and so am less afraid for the characters than i would be if i truly didn't know the outcome. my willing-suspension of disbelief is a whore. a bit too willing.

but i hear ya'll talking about the horror genre with relish all the time!
how does that work? for those of you who like horror, what is it about being terrified that you enjoy? or is it that you simply don't find the same things scary? are there limits to what you can enjoy and what will give you nightmares? do you actually get nightmares? i mean, if you enjoy being afraid...is it really a nightmare? what makes fear real and uncomfortable for you? does it have to be about you or someone you love for it to be unpleasant? or is it just about expectations? i know for me i was troubled, but not afraid after 9-11 because 1)everyone i knew was safe and 2)it didn't alter my sense of safety. i didn't feel that we were safe before the horrible events.

are there any other people out there who really hate being afraid?

please answer in as much detail as you can, i'm really interested in this.