![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
looking up...
Sep. 17th, 2004 03:33 pmis something people rarely do
figuratively or literally. i have been making a concerted effort to not stay focused on my own issues this week and it has helped a lot.
i don't know what i would do right now if i couldn't be in school. i get so much of my sense of self-worth from proving to myself that i'm not dumb. and it gives me so much to think about. there's nothing like a good brain-stretching when you feel like you are on an emotional roller-coaster.
today i am very much in love with my systematics professor/degree adviser, kendall soulen. the man is quite simply a genius. he articulates easily even the points of view he doesn't agree with. it is one of the best classes i have ever had, and i have had a lot of fabulous classes.
last night we talked about particularism, inclusivism and pluralism as paradigms for understanding ultimate reality. wow. i am a lot less open-minded than i've always thought i was, but so is everyone else even if they don't know it.
because everyone takes a position about reality. we have to. and there will always be people who agree or disagree with you, and are thereby included or excluded by your view. kendall soulen has a really complicated religious way of applying this and explaining it that i really like.
so i am stimulated as hell and kind of disturbed because my inclinations are to be inclusive. i spent my summer involved in interfaith work. i believe that no one person or religion has a monopoly on the truth, including my own. but i also believe in the truth of my own faith, i have to stand for something and against something in order for my faith to have any significance (and mesh with my concept of reality). it is a problem that i have been struggling with for a long time...and while it is satisfying to struggle, i will need to come up with an answer this year, or at least enough of one to write my credo paper (40+ pages of "this is what heather believes as of now").
i guess going through a break-up is a good time for anyone to do some serious soul-searching. i went to a counselor with z this week and it was extremely productive and extremely frustrating. productive because i learned some important things, frustrating because the counselor (who is a friend of the family and REALLY fantastic) is focused on fixing things, while i am focused on ending things....okay maybe understanding them to, but i am also determined that as wonderful as he is, i am not going back to z. and my mother put me on a huge guilt trip beforehand, which didn't help. i have a nasty tendency to get so wrapped up in other people's feelings that i forget to pay attention to my own.
so i high-tailed it over to abby's. abby is a godsend. i have not made such a friend in years. her man is pretty kick-ass too.
speaking of which, i have added people to my friend's list that i have met through her, or think i need to know better. i hope no one minds.
figuratively or literally. i have been making a concerted effort to not stay focused on my own issues this week and it has helped a lot.
i don't know what i would do right now if i couldn't be in school. i get so much of my sense of self-worth from proving to myself that i'm not dumb. and it gives me so much to think about. there's nothing like a good brain-stretching when you feel like you are on an emotional roller-coaster.
today i am very much in love with my systematics professor/degree adviser, kendall soulen. the man is quite simply a genius. he articulates easily even the points of view he doesn't agree with. it is one of the best classes i have ever had, and i have had a lot of fabulous classes.
last night we talked about particularism, inclusivism and pluralism as paradigms for understanding ultimate reality. wow. i am a lot less open-minded than i've always thought i was, but so is everyone else even if they don't know it.
because everyone takes a position about reality. we have to. and there will always be people who agree or disagree with you, and are thereby included or excluded by your view. kendall soulen has a really complicated religious way of applying this and explaining it that i really like.
so i am stimulated as hell and kind of disturbed because my inclinations are to be inclusive. i spent my summer involved in interfaith work. i believe that no one person or religion has a monopoly on the truth, including my own. but i also believe in the truth of my own faith, i have to stand for something and against something in order for my faith to have any significance (and mesh with my concept of reality). it is a problem that i have been struggling with for a long time...and while it is satisfying to struggle, i will need to come up with an answer this year, or at least enough of one to write my credo paper (40+ pages of "this is what heather believes as of now").
i guess going through a break-up is a good time for anyone to do some serious soul-searching. i went to a counselor with z this week and it was extremely productive and extremely frustrating. productive because i learned some important things, frustrating because the counselor (who is a friend of the family and REALLY fantastic) is focused on fixing things, while i am focused on ending things....okay maybe understanding them to, but i am also determined that as wonderful as he is, i am not going back to z. and my mother put me on a huge guilt trip beforehand, which didn't help. i have a nasty tendency to get so wrapped up in other people's feelings that i forget to pay attention to my own.
so i high-tailed it over to abby's. abby is a godsend. i have not made such a friend in years. her man is pretty kick-ass too.
speaking of which, i have added people to my friend's list that i have met through her, or think i need to know better. i hope no one minds.
