actually i'm feeling REALLY insecure and doing lots of things to make sure that i pay no attention to my feelings. i was JUST FINE until my stuff got here. then i couldn't pretend i was just visiting anymore. all my stuff is here (minus a few things i forgot like my tent.grrr) but it is mostly still in boxes because we don't have the trim up yet so there is no place to PUT things if i did unpack them.:( that should be fixed this week. it's not that i'm so attached to my things. it is that i need to have the space the way i want it (involving whatever it is that needs to be put somewhere) in order to feel confident enough to expand outward. i find myself feeling suddenly shy around many of ross's friends and especially women....which is weird for me.
taking this hebrew class is the smartest possible thing i could have done. it puts me in a place where i know all the rules and know how to excell. anything that boosts my confidence is golden right now. i forget how much i depend on my friendships for my self-esteem. ross has been an absolute angel, but it is just going to take some time.
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Date: 2005-06-07 08:17 pm (UTC)actually i'm feeling REALLY insecure and doing lots of things to make sure that i pay no attention to my feelings. i was JUST FINE until my stuff got here. then i couldn't pretend i was just visiting anymore. all my stuff is here (minus a few things i forgot like my tent.grrr) but it is mostly still in boxes because we don't have the trim up yet so there is no place to PUT things if i did unpack them.:(
that should be fixed this week. it's not that i'm so attached to my things. it is that i need to have the space the way i want it (involving whatever it is that needs to be put somewhere) in order to feel confident enough to expand outward. i find myself feeling suddenly shy around many of ross's friends and especially women....which is weird for me.
taking this hebrew class is the smartest possible thing i could have done. it puts me in a place where i know all the rules and know how to excell. anything that boosts my confidence is golden right now. i forget how much i depend on my friendships for my self-esteem.
ross has been an absolute angel, but it is just going to take some time.