class and work and halloween this week

[2eclipse]

happy birthday to qontinuum !
miss hangin' with you, man.

unlike a lot of ya'll, my job actually celebrates halloween. and while it makes me smile, i am not feeling the spirit of things. still too locked into work mode. i worked from 7:20am to 10pm last night - a 15 hour day.
and i expect that today will not be a whole lot better even though i will put on a costume and carve my pumpkin and give treats to kids in the neighborhood. i just have SO much work to do for my midterm and this project that my group has held us up from finishing that i don't feel like i can truly rest! and i have another class starting tomorrow night.

the interview went pretty well. it was a screening interview with the hr lady, who was very nice. they had over 100 applications and are interviewing 10-15 people. i will hear back in a little over a week about whether or not they want to interview me again at which point it will be down to less than 5 candidates....and then if they choose me it would be 2 weeks for my notice, so we are looking at mid-november if i get the job...which i am not getting my hopes up about because it would be a diservice to myself. i need to rev myself up a bit before the interview, but afterward it only gets me in trouble.

going to class last night was stressful. pat keifert (one of the profs) mis-interpreted something i said in front of the whole class (who thankfully i don't think share his bad interpretation) and pissed me off, but it was a pretty minor thing. the little time i spent with my group was uneventful. i spoke with pat ellison (the other prof) at the end of class and she was sympathetic if not particularly helpful. apparently we are not the only group still working on this project and she and dr. keifert have noticed how dramatically un-participatory two of my group members are. she encouraged me to be honest in my reflection paper on how this process has gone.
what i dread is that i still have to deal with these people some more and i don't trust them at all. i feel better about the two who acknowledged what i said and that they have been slackers than i do about everyone else in the group.  we still have to do a q&a session/presentation with the church we worked on and a presentation in front of the class. i think the thing with the church will go well, but i think if i am honest during the presentation for the class i will pick a fight as well as embarrassing people. the second i could live with, but the first is a waste of class time and i won't do it. i am hoping my class tomorrow will be better.

i am really looking forward to next week when most of this school stuff will be done...really i'm looking forward to these classes and xmas being over and getting my life back. it is deeply sad to me that i feel too busy and stressed out to look forward to the advent season the way i want to. usually i even enjoy xmas shopping even though i find it stressful. it feels like doing too much is screwing up my priorities....and yet i also really want to finish my degree. it's just really hard that most of the joy is gone from that right now.  i think i officially don't like this degree program + job at the same time thing.
i want to go home and go in the hot tub and knit (not in the hot tub) and relax with some nice mulled cider.  i am thinking that i should probably make time to do at least a couple of those things to night just to de-stress a bit.

Comments

[2eclipse.livejournal.com]

i bet you can. you and chris seem like you're always on a go-go-go schedule.

i want to smell the flowers, but i always feel guilty when i take that time, ya know?