2eclipse | (no subject)

i had the WEIRDEST dream last night.

i went to russia with my co-worker t. i got to meet her daughter olga (who looked nothing like her pictures, but rather like someone i went to high school with). we sat in the airport and i forgot the name of the russian space dog and they couldn't understand me to tell me. we went to t's apartment and she had lots of really beautiful hand-painted antique furniture. there were stray cats everywhere and one of them looked like leto except not fixed. he was very clingy with me and t decided she wanted him and got permission from her super to keep him. we went to what passed for a shopping center to see a movie and somehow my stomach got cut open when we got the popcorn. but i didn't really bleed and wasn't really concerned about it. i had difficulty keeping the wound closed. after the movie i found out that t was a ghost and that olga was the only real person i was dealing with and then i went out to the lake where people were battling with these small hand-made boats. i got into one and battled too and then somehow wound up talking to ross...it got even weirder. all the while i was thinking about how the cat that looked like leto liked me better than t and that now i would be able to mark russia down on one of those maps that shows where you've been.

i got a LOT done yesterday.
i scrubbed the counters and cleaned the stove and took out the trash and the recycling and cleaned the cat boxes and made phone calls and cleaned up hair balls and made dinner and got a shower all the while felt kind of dazed and half-asleep. i am still not sleeping well (though i did get enough last night).
i also finished shadowbridge before i came to bed. it is a REALLY good book. it blends cultures in really interesting ways and leaves me wanting more. my only real gripe with it is that it doesn't really end. there is no reason for the author to end the book where he does and no signal to the reader that some major event has concluded the story. okay there is a major event, but you know so little about it that it doesn't feel conclusive in the slightest. it isn't just a cliff-hanger. it feels like a chapter ending, not a book ending. i WILL go read the next book.

tonight is my last class for literacy training. i am very glad about this. i have not enjoyed the training and i don't expect to enjoy tonight. i feel like these people want to control me and hand-hold me and i want to volunteer independently. or rather i want to volunteer with the organization of my choice - not with this extra partically involved organization poking their nose in and getting in my way and acting like mommy and daddy. i don't need mommy and daddy and i certainly don't need their goddamned condescention. it's nice that they are there to help but the have no right to be pushy when i am being NICE and GIVING my time. i have put up with their classes wasting my time and paid their $30, but you can be sure that my time after tonight is going to THE PEOPLE WHO NEED ME not to them!
i guess i'm partly so angry because my teacher is such a pretentious, egotistical dick. but really i feel like the whole minnesota literacy council is this giant leech, feeding off federal dollars and insinuating itself where it doesn't belong and isn't needed in order to get more money - the smaller organizations that actually do the volunteering are the ones that do the actual work and i have trouble valueing "movie night" as a valuable service provided by the literacy council. providing volunteers with a list of resources is valuable. about 2 hours of the whole 12 hour process of training has been valuable. all the rest feels to me like a waste of tax payer dollars and the reason that people cringe when non-profits ask them for money. i hate stuff like that because it casts doubt onto my whole reason for wanting to work in the non-profit sector. i believe in the value of adult literacy and these goons are cheapening it. what's worse is all the other people in the class just nodding their heads and following "rules" and accepting things that would piss them off if they weren't such a pack of sheep. there are one or two sound heads there, but they (like me) are playing it safe and going along with the nonsense. you can bet i'm going to give them a piece of my mind when they no longer have the power to stop me from volunteering with these other organizations.