more summer happiness
Aug. 19th, 2008 10:52 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
2eclipseyesterday i cut out of work early and drove out to lake minnetonka to meet ross and crew. lots of people i haven't seen in a while there, though notably missing were heidi (scott's wife), brandon and ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
planetjake. they were missed.
i normally have trouble swimming in minnesota lakes. they are just too cold for me. yesterday it was 90 degrees out and it just felt fabulous to be in the water. unfortunately the lake-weed thought so too and so did the little fishes that kept nibbling on me and tickling my feet. still it was great to have an afternoon at the lake.
ross and i had mary mitchel over for dinner and chilling afterward. she is truly a delightful and fascinating lady. i'm glad i had the chance to meet her. she had a lot to say about faith and starting her own non-profit and working in new york. i wish i could introduce her tovale797. i think they would be fast friends. she is the only person i've ever met who's life is as weird and random as his.
i have been thinking a lot about survivalism recently; talking about it withsunmother and finding a whole group of like-minded paranoids over on ravelry, appropriately called the chicken littles. does anyone else here have apocalyptic nightmares?
what i have discovered, is that my attitude stems from events as far back as junior high school ethics seminars. i remember being stuck in a group and told," you are guaranteed a spot in a bomb shelter, but it will only fit 6 more people. here is a list of 12 people, their occupations, and their family situations. you have to choose which ones get to come in the bomb shelter with you." i have done this exercise at least 3 times that i can remember. my group never agreed with me on who to choose, and the frustration of misunderstanding was always compounded for me by the pragmatism and lack of compassion i felt from my fellows. these were PEOPLE to me, not just names on paper. i felt torn up because i know that people don't limit themselves to the skills they do every day at work, and i wanted to know if the school-teacher, who no one wanted to include except me, had hobbies that could help sway my argument for her survival...
i didn't know it at the time, but this was the beginning of my interest in my desire to be considered someone "useful" to others.sunmother pointed out to me that this is part of what the exercise is designed to do. i'm not so sure. i think the task is more focused on making people think about how they make ethical choices, and find understanding of the qualities they value in others. but i guess my result is a good one too. i was interested in fantasy worlds where people had less access to the kind of resources we have today and survival stories like the tracker and my side of the mountain from a young age, and these pointed me in the direction of the kind of skills i'd like to have. as an adult, i have more concrete focuses for my motivation. i worry about the shambles of our international reputation. i worry about the possibilities of world war three. i don't think these worries are unreasonable. this world is crazy and safe. i don't live my life jumping at shadows. but i am savvy of the possibilities. i dont' think a good life is about safety anyway. it is about taking smart risks and dealing effectively with the consequences. if i die, i die, but if i live, i want to be the kind of person who can contribute to a world without infrastructure. i want to have the skills to do essential tasks in that kind of world. these are desires that have shaped my life goals. so i learned to make soap. i learned to knit and i am learning to spin and preserve food. i learned to shoot a gun and cook food over a fire or in solar ovens. i want to learn how to butcher my own food (although i absolutely don't want to do it on a regular basis unless i have to). i know a little about gardening and the medicininal properties of herbs. i would love to go mushrooming with an experienced teacher. i married a man who is good at just about everything he turns his hand to (including roofing, wood-working, construction and electrician stuff)and we fantasize about having enough land for horses and goats, alpacas and chickens and bees. i enjoy learning about these things, but i also find that the more i learn, the more i feel a sense of history, a sense that i am learning to live sustainably, and a sense of being in touch with what is available to me locally. i understand more of how i am a part of my community because i try to provide for my needs locally. i think of how my skills don't supply for my needs all by themselves, but how i am dependent on trucks to bring things from far away and the talents of others near me for all sorts of services i can't do for myself.
and i can't help but think, this is what we are missing. THIS is a big part of what western culture is confused about. the services we depend on all seem to happen invisibly. while we are sleeping the grocery store is stocked, and we never meet the farmer. the gas is processed and brought to gas stations near us and all we have to do is pay for it before we go zipping off in our cars to accomplish our goals. we don't live in a society that forces us to THINK about how our needs are met. so we don't. so we forget that they ARE needs in the first place and that the structure that holds our lives together is fragile. we don't place value on the garbage man because he is reliable and we don't have to meet him for him to do his job, just send a check to the company that pays him. if he is sick, another man does his job without a hitch. everything is so convenient that we forget to value it as much as it deserves to be valued. we forget to value the people who help us as much as they deserve. we think "oh they are just doing their job. they get paid for what they do. they don't need any additional gratitude from me, and i'm too busy to smile, to ask after their families, to acknowledge the relationship between us intrinsic in service.
but the truth is that we are all in community with one another. it's so spread out and unacknowledged that it can be hard to see even when we look for it, but it IS there. my stupid job resolving invoice and purchase order invoices allows vendors to get paid and my company to get product that allows 3M to invent things that help people do things quicker and more efficiently, to bandage wounds, to conveiniently keep notes of things and many other tasks.
it is the kind of thing that would go away very quickly in a world without infrastructure, but it is still connected, and a service offered that allows me to pay for the services i need in turn.
many of you who read my journal are even more in touch with this sense of community than i am. many of you are more in touch with the earth and where the things that supply your needs come from. but i don't think the greater part of america or western society fits into this category. i think that we live a lie instead. a lie that we are comfortable with that says, "i do everything important by myself. i am free to make my decisions without the inpot of others or concern for them. i am a free, independent individual." i wonder if we haven't intentionally engineered the architecture of our society to back this illusion. i don't know how to fix it, but i do know i don't like a lot of the results of it. God has made us for community with Himself and with each other, and it is manifest in all the ways we need one another, but instead we prefer our illusion. i think that this illusion is the reason we don't truly see each other as whole people. the reason we try to separate problems into compartmentalized pieces we can fix individually instead of addressing the whole system. i think it is the reason we are stingy with our smiles and our time when we encounter strangers. we think they are not part of our community and that we don't need or want anything from them, nevermind if they are the doctor we go to next week, or the plumber who saves our basement the next time it rains. i think this illusion is the reason companies think they can afford to withhold benefits from employees, and refuse to hire extra help when it is needed. i think it is the reason many people think they don't need God. i think it is the reason we scowl at the homeless and presume that whatever we give them will be wasted on drugs and booze.
i am as in love with the idea of my own independence as the next person. i don't give to every charity that comes along and i pass homeless people without giving when i am in a hurry. but i do know that i am changing, and i like the changes i am making. it's that whole thing about thinking globally and acting locally and maybe someday i'll actually be good at it instead of a fumbling beginner. i don't think you have to be perfect to make a difference. i think you just have to be thoughtful and try.
i don't think you need to believe in God to be concious of the connections between people or to make the kinds of changes that help us touch the world and each other with gentle hands. but i think maybe if you are making those kinds of choices God believes in you.
planetjake. they were missed.i normally have trouble swimming in minnesota lakes. they are just too cold for me. yesterday it was 90 degrees out and it just felt fabulous to be in the water. unfortunately the lake-weed thought so too and so did the little fishes that kept nibbling on me and tickling my feet. still it was great to have an afternoon at the lake.
ross and i had mary mitchel over for dinner and chilling afterward. she is truly a delightful and fascinating lady. i'm glad i had the chance to meet her. she had a lot to say about faith and starting her own non-profit and working in new york. i wish i could introduce her to
vale797. i think they would be fast friends. she is the only person i've ever met who's life is as weird and random as his. i have been thinking a lot about survivalism recently; talking about it with
sunmother and finding a whole group of like-minded paranoids over on ravelry, appropriately called the chicken littles. does anyone else here have apocalyptic nightmares?what i have discovered, is that my attitude stems from events as far back as junior high school ethics seminars. i remember being stuck in a group and told," you are guaranteed a spot in a bomb shelter, but it will only fit 6 more people. here is a list of 12 people, their occupations, and their family situations. you have to choose which ones get to come in the bomb shelter with you." i have done this exercise at least 3 times that i can remember. my group never agreed with me on who to choose, and the frustration of misunderstanding was always compounded for me by the pragmatism and lack of compassion i felt from my fellows. these were PEOPLE to me, not just names on paper. i felt torn up because i know that people don't limit themselves to the skills they do every day at work, and i wanted to know if the school-teacher, who no one wanted to include except me, had hobbies that could help sway my argument for her survival...
i didn't know it at the time, but this was the beginning of my interest in my desire to be considered someone "useful" to others.
sunmother pointed out to me that this is part of what the exercise is designed to do. i'm not so sure. i think the task is more focused on making people think about how they make ethical choices, and find understanding of the qualities they value in others. but i guess my result is a good one too. i was interested in fantasy worlds where people had less access to the kind of resources we have today and survival stories like the tracker and my side of the mountain from a young age, and these pointed me in the direction of the kind of skills i'd like to have. as an adult, i have more concrete focuses for my motivation. i worry about the shambles of our international reputation. i worry about the possibilities of world war three. i don't think these worries are unreasonable. this world is crazy and safe. i don't live my life jumping at shadows. but i am savvy of the possibilities. i dont' think a good life is about safety anyway. it is about taking smart risks and dealing effectively with the consequences. if i die, i die, but if i live, i want to be the kind of person who can contribute to a world without infrastructure. i want to have the skills to do essential tasks in that kind of world. these are desires that have shaped my life goals. so i learned to make soap. i learned to knit and i am learning to spin and preserve food. i learned to shoot a gun and cook food over a fire or in solar ovens. i want to learn how to butcher my own food (although i absolutely don't want to do it on a regular basis unless i have to). i know a little about gardening and the medicininal properties of herbs. i would love to go mushrooming with an experienced teacher. i married a man who is good at just about everything he turns his hand to (including roofing, wood-working, construction and electrician stuff)and we fantasize about having enough land for horses and goats, alpacas and chickens and bees. i enjoy learning about these things, but i also find that the more i learn, the more i feel a sense of history, a sense that i am learning to live sustainably, and a sense of being in touch with what is available to me locally. i understand more of how i am a part of my community because i try to provide for my needs locally. i think of how my skills don't supply for my needs all by themselves, but how i am dependent on trucks to bring things from far away and the talents of others near me for all sorts of services i can't do for myself. and i can't help but think, this is what we are missing. THIS is a big part of what western culture is confused about. the services we depend on all seem to happen invisibly. while we are sleeping the grocery store is stocked, and we never meet the farmer. the gas is processed and brought to gas stations near us and all we have to do is pay for it before we go zipping off in our cars to accomplish our goals. we don't live in a society that forces us to THINK about how our needs are met. so we don't. so we forget that they ARE needs in the first place and that the structure that holds our lives together is fragile. we don't place value on the garbage man because he is reliable and we don't have to meet him for him to do his job, just send a check to the company that pays him. if he is sick, another man does his job without a hitch. everything is so convenient that we forget to value it as much as it deserves to be valued. we forget to value the people who help us as much as they deserve. we think "oh they are just doing their job. they get paid for what they do. they don't need any additional gratitude from me, and i'm too busy to smile, to ask after their families, to acknowledge the relationship between us intrinsic in service.
but the truth is that we are all in community with one another. it's so spread out and unacknowledged that it can be hard to see even when we look for it, but it IS there. my stupid job resolving invoice and purchase order invoices allows vendors to get paid and my company to get product that allows 3M to invent things that help people do things quicker and more efficiently, to bandage wounds, to conveiniently keep notes of things and many other tasks.
it is the kind of thing that would go away very quickly in a world without infrastructure, but it is still connected, and a service offered that allows me to pay for the services i need in turn.
many of you who read my journal are even more in touch with this sense of community than i am. many of you are more in touch with the earth and where the things that supply your needs come from. but i don't think the greater part of america or western society fits into this category. i think that we live a lie instead. a lie that we are comfortable with that says, "i do everything important by myself. i am free to make my decisions without the inpot of others or concern for them. i am a free, independent individual." i wonder if we haven't intentionally engineered the architecture of our society to back this illusion. i don't know how to fix it, but i do know i don't like a lot of the results of it. God has made us for community with Himself and with each other, and it is manifest in all the ways we need one another, but instead we prefer our illusion. i think that this illusion is the reason we don't truly see each other as whole people. the reason we try to separate problems into compartmentalized pieces we can fix individually instead of addressing the whole system. i think it is the reason we are stingy with our smiles and our time when we encounter strangers. we think they are not part of our community and that we don't need or want anything from them, nevermind if they are the doctor we go to next week, or the plumber who saves our basement the next time it rains. i think this illusion is the reason companies think they can afford to withhold benefits from employees, and refuse to hire extra help when it is needed. i think it is the reason many people think they don't need God. i think it is the reason we scowl at the homeless and presume that whatever we give them will be wasted on drugs and booze.
i am as in love with the idea of my own independence as the next person. i don't give to every charity that comes along and i pass homeless people without giving when i am in a hurry. but i do know that i am changing, and i like the changes i am making. it's that whole thing about thinking globally and acting locally and maybe someday i'll actually be good at it instead of a fumbling beginner. i don't think you have to be perfect to make a difference. i think you just have to be thoughtful and try.
i don't think you need to believe in God to be concious of the connections between people or to make the kinds of changes that help us touch the world and each other with gentle hands. but i think maybe if you are making those kinds of choices God believes in you.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2008-08-19 08:25 pm (UTC)this was the beginning of my interest in my desire to be considered someone "useful" to others.
that reminds me of The Cider House Rules by John Irving. Being "useful" is one of the.. ah, themes?
people tend to get really caught up in stereotypes and end up living in a world they've made up in their head. in their heads, the world is a strange place with people who are out to get them and hurt them with the exception of a precious few. if something didn't happen the way they want it to then their life is miserable. instead of accepting everything as it really is they twist it into this strange reality that only exists to them.
it takes smiling at someone or offering to help them put their groceries in the car for people to snap out of it and come back to earth. hey, i'm a person! i think and feel the same as you! I find that acknowledging that in someone immediately puts your relationship on a whole different level. It's like you already know them because you know yourself, and it creates a really friendly atmosphere. Try it sometime, it's really infectious and people's reactions are pretty cool. It's like once they realize i'm not some scary Young Person and that I'm actually a person they interact completely differently.
i don't think you need to believe in God to be concious of the connections between people or to make the kinds of changes that help us touch the world and each other with gentle hands. but i think maybe if you are making those kinds of choices God believes in you.
I agree. :)
(no subject)
Date: 2008-08-19 11:38 pm (UTC)In any case, I think preparedness is a good idea. Being "useful" is a good idea. Thinking of your community and those around you as real people is a great idea. Especially since if anything catastrophic does happen that disrupts our usual way of life, your skills and preparations will be helping some of those very people who didn't think to help themselves. Assuming that they don't become part of such a dangerous mob you are better off waiting for a while before trying to help :(
And aside from the worst happening and you faring better than you might have, the worst case scenario of getting "into" preparedness is that you pick up a neat hobby or three, and if you get really into it, maybe you spend a bunch of money on things that will be useful for quite some time, even if they never become absolutely necessary in an emergency.
I haven't done much in the way of preparedness, other than keeping a slightly larger stock of ammunition, freeze dried food, and first aid supplies than most, but I would like to do more - especially in the realm of learning skills to help sustain a comfortable lifestyle. What I've done so far is more along the lines of being prepared to ride out a nasty storm (literally or figuratively) and stand by for a few weeks waiting for the lights to get turned back on.
(no subject)
Date: 2008-08-20 02:08 am (UTC)thanks for this. i didn't expect such support and it means a lot to me, especially coming from you. i have always liked and respected you even though i think we prioritize things very differently, so finding that we have agreement on this kind of thing is really nice. :)
(no subject)
Date: 2008-08-21 05:00 am (UTC)What do you think of that line from Milton:
"He also serves who only stands and waits." ?? (thinking about the pressure to be useful).
(no subject)
Date: 2008-08-21 11:49 am (UTC)living mindfully is not salvific. okay, maybe it will save the planet...but it's not going to save your soul. it is one of those things that comes from grace, not the other way around.
but it is also not mutually exclusive with "standing and waiting," in most cases. if we can, we should act....but "can" is more that physical capability.
and acting, does not mean acting alone, or in all directions. we need to give over the idea that we have super-powers and that God expects us to change the world single handed in every way. that way leads to getting overwhelmed and being unproductive because of it. instead we should be mindful of our community and work WITH that community for change.
a friend recently posted that quote: never doubt that a small group of committed citizens can change the world. indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.
(no subject)
Date: 2008-08-21 12:04 pm (UTC)The idea of living intentionally in your community so that you really become part of the community is refreshing. The daily things you suggest doing to remind yourself and to acknowledge that living in a community is personal are refreshing and a challenge to my tendency to get too goal focused.It is not my nature necessarily...happens when I take too much on and get too full of myself.
The quote about committed citizens...I recognize...Margaret Mead.