sports

there's a lot of news this week about sports teams up here in minnesota and it leaves me in the dark.
i don't mind sports. i like the philly flyers and the redskins and playoff basketball...but it is hard for me to get really invested in following a team.
a lot of this is because sports teams don't really seem to represent their area at all.
people get traded to balance teams out - and there is really no connection to let alone representation of the area they "play for." this boggles me. why not call the kansas city royals just "the royals?" who cares if they are based there when they don't really COME from the area? i grew up loving the redskins because they won the superbowl when i was 8 and i am attached to the memory of all the hype that went with that...my loyalty is attached to a memory...and it isn't all that strong because these teams have nothing to do with me. but some sports fans take it personally every time their team wins or loses.

can some of you sports fans out there explain this to me?

kittens and spinning and jobs, oh my!

we have decided on names for the little beasties.
( kitten update within )

i got some spinning and plying done this weekend and wound up with 2 more skeins of handspun. i'd like to get 7 of them before i start my sweater...but i really should weigh them. the pattern calls for 2.2 lbs, but doesn't give any yardage.
also got some work done on the fawkes socks. it seems like every sock pattern i knit has a different heel and i don't know the names for any of them except that the wrap n' turn heel is one version of a short-row heel. i would like very much to have names to keep them all separate in my mind. i definitely like the short-rows. my feet are wide, but my heels are narrow, and i like the snug fit around them.

as far as the job situation goes, i go back and forth between acceptance of my situation and shock. i'm supposed to be training my replacement this week, but i haven't met her yet, and i'm not eager to do so. i'm doing it because i care about my co-workers and don't want them left to clean up her mess - not because i'm an altruist.
and i think about what i'm going to do next. i sent in an updated resume to the contracting company and applied for one position online yesterday. also found a couple of others that look alright.
the thing is that i've never found a job i like. and i went to seminary partly because i thought if i couldn't do something i liked, at least i could do something meaningful...but i'm starting to wonder, what if that's not enough. what if meaning isn't enough? what if i need to actually like what i do to find satisfaction at work?
i have kind a "grit your teeth and bear it" attitude about the parts of my job i dont' like. i get through it, but i don't like it and i have this crazy idea that i shouldn't have to hate what i do...or even a large part of what i do. and i can't help but wonder if this isn't part of why i haven't had more luck getting a job i want....because i'm never sure that it's going to be something i love - because i haven't done it before - and because part of what i hate is selling myself.
how do ya'll handle this when you are in that position? do you like what you do?

finances are a concern with me being laid off and i feel a lot of pressure to get a job NOW. the kittens were expensive. getting them fixed will be expensive. the medical bills from this summer and fixing ross's motorcycle and my car was expensive. plane tickets to dc are expensive. xmas is expensive.
and this morning my phone wouldn't turn on. i have asked ross to look at it while i'm gone today because he's amazing. if you have called me and i don't call you back - it is because it still won't turn on. i am trying not to worry about any of this and just not spend anything.

(no subject)

picture by request of sunmother


learning bad habits