2eclipse: (brainy chic)
my back continues to cause me less pain for greater amounts of time. i am completely off the heavy drugs. i am mostly off the alleve.
even went to the gym yesterday and did a half-hour on the elliptical, cool down around the track and some short time with the weight machines. mostly i'm just avoiding twisting motions or heavy lifting.
good stuff.

it is a beautiful day today in the twin cities. it is predicted that today will be the first day reaching 80 degrees since last september. i really wanted to ride my bike to work today...but i need to take the time to fill my tires and get a bike lock that can handle the super-thick locking options i have at 3m. also i didn't get up early enough.
also savil needed some serious butt-trimming this morning(yuck). she didn't let me finish, but she is much less matted & stinky than previously. i think i'm going to need someone to hold her for me to finish.

the routine of working the same daily hours has been good for me to get back to. having a schedule stabilizes me a lot. i'm taking the down-time i need, but i've also been making a point of getting at least SOME chores done around the house every day. it is going a long way toward keeping me sane and keeping the house clean. especially since ross isn't around to help much.

he woke me at 4am this morning to tell me he had a great night at work and everything was coming together and he missed me. and bless him, i WANT him to wake me to tell me things like that. but i could NOT get back to sleep afterward, and i wasn't sleeping well BEFORE he woke me, so i'm feeling it today.

i had a long talk with ceci last night and then my parents.
it was good to re-connect with all of them. i have been so run-down by trying to do too much, and i have been neglecting the people i try to keep in contact with by phone. i miss ross, and i miss doing things with him, but i also feel like his being at work so much is giving me a chance to breathe. i think i need to figure out how to stop sacrificing my down-time so much, especially since he really doesn't need me to (he has said so). the distance gives me time to reflect. it just seems funny that i should need so badly to reflect on such basic things.
it isn't that i'm not being social though. returning long distance phone calls counts as social for me.
also i've been seeing lots of susan lately, which is lovely, going to knitting/spinning groups and today i am getting together with victoria, who i'm not sure i've mentioned before here. she's way cool. i met her on the knitting camping trip last fall. she just had her NINTH baby! most of her pregnancies happened while she was on birth control and there was one set of twins, so don't judge her as another octomom. also she's married and stable.
she's also very funny and creative and cool to be with. i quite like her.
tomorrow is getting together with marie for spinning/knitting whatever and saturday i will be hanging out with christa and ross before he has to go to work in the evening.

i am still enjoying gregory frost - i'm on his second shadowbridge book now, lord tophet. i continue to be pleased with this new find. they have some of the feel of neil gaiman's neverwhere - without neil's darkness. we'll see if this one ends better than the last one.

also i still have not seen watchmen and am put out about it. i was going to see it with ross, but he has no time now and every one else has already seen it.
i have been re-watching the 10th kingdom. the logical result of this is that i have THE TROLL version of saturday night fever going around in my head endlessly. i am simultaneously amused and annoyed.


Oct. 26th, 2008 09:27 pm
2eclipse: (brainy chic)
so savil got fixed on friday and i picked her up saturday morning. she has also been micro-chipped. she seems to be doing quite well, to the point of initiating fights with her brother, which i'm supposed to be preventing.
i'm mainly worried about her getting kicked in the stomach, and i spray them with water pretty quick if it looks like there is any danger, but i also can't keep her from being a kitten. it's just not natural. if i can protect her from the worst she can do to herself, i'll feel pretty good. otherwise, i think she knows what she's up for better than i do. she gets locked up when no one's around to supervise, but mostly everyone has been behaving themselves. right now the little girl is curled up on my lap. right now, that probably means she wants her pain meds.
ever since her spay, she has been super affectionate with me, and has wanted to spend a lot of her time on my lap....this is great as far as i am concerned. i was a bit worried that she was going to be so attached to leto she wouldn't bond with ross and i. she's been strictly a daddy's girl up til this weekend, and i think ross really loved that, because leto is definitely all about the ladies. mostly though, i think these kittens love whoever is giving them the most attention. ross is home during the day a lot more than i am. i am sure that he will have ample opportunity to shower them with affection and gain their devotion to him alone if he wants it.

corrin went out with me on friday night to get some new slacks for my interview. i'm SO grateful to have her advice. she has a great sense of color and style. at least practically i appreciate that. there are a lot of styles i don't like, and i can't do anything about that. but she gets me thinking about what looks good in a different way, that i benefit from a lot.

yesterday i swept and mopped and did the dishes and worked on knitting xmas gifts...but mostly i was home to supervise the kittens and make sure nobody ripped open savil's stitches. she's going to have to get them out in 2 weeks. i'm really glad that we did this so that i could pick her up on the weekend and give them some supervisory time.
myra came down and worked on our yard, for which i am HUGELY thankful. i just wish that her help didn't come with a load of nagging for ross, who decided to stay home and work on guthrie stuff. we got some nice time together and ross made an awesome dinner. i love having a partner who not only knows his way around the kitchen, but works well with others there to boot!

today was again mostly sedentary. ross was in st. cloud helping out [livejournal.com profile] eltanin and [livejournal.com profile] wilderheart with their roof. i ironed and steamed my suit for tomorrow, baked banana bread, cleaned the catbox and met [livejournal.com profile] oneonajourney for coffee as she was coming home from packing up her family's cabin for the season. it was really great to see her. but mostly i was home. i'm really trying to get progress made on my xmas stuff. )


Oct. 24th, 2008 04:52 pm
2eclipse: (Default)
the vet called and said that savil is fine and that i can pick her up tomorrow at 10am.

my boss let everybody out of work early.

my friend corrin is coming over after work so that we can go look for pants for my interview.

my letter to my dad is finished. it's only 4 pages long, but i knew i was done when i was making myself cry with what i was writing. i'm not sending it to my sister for scrapbooking yet though. i don't want her to have time to steal my ideas.
2eclipse: (Default)
....i just need to remember to be grateful for it.
actually i AM grateful for it, but interesting isn't always good.
for instance, this morning i caught leto mounting his sister.

they are only 5 months old. a little shy of that, actually. SHE may not be sexually mature, but he definitely is. ross and i have been trying to schedule something for her for a while now and just haven't put it as high enough priority. i left him a note this morning asking him to take her in. if he can't do it...well i'll stay home from st. cloud this weekend and get her fixed. ross is helping them roof this weekend. much as i would dearly love to see [livejournal.com profile] eltanin and [livejournal.com profile] wilderheart, we do not need MORE kittens. especially inbred ones.

game last night was pleasant, but not as much fun as the first sessiondetails for my life with master. )

mainly the good news is that i have an interview at the U of M. or rather, i will once i have stopped playing phone tag. the position is basically doing the same type of thing i'm doing now. but it's a REAL job, not a contract job. with benefits. and tuition reembursement. and a pay raise. i could really use those things. i'm still interested in all of the things i have previously talked about. but i want some security too.
2eclipse: (Default)
we have decided on names for the little beasties.
kitten update within )

i got some spinning and plying done this weekend and wound up with 2 more skeins of handspun. i'd like to get 7 of them before i start my sweater...but i really should weigh them. the pattern calls for 2.2 lbs, but doesn't give any yardage.
also got some work done on the fawkes socks. it seems like every sock pattern i knit has a different heel and i don't know the names for any of them except that the wrap n' turn heel is one version of a short-row heel. i would like very much to have names to keep them all separate in my mind. i definitely like the short-rows. my feet are wide, but my heels are narrow, and i like the snug fit around them.

as far as the job situation goes, i go back and forth between acceptance of my situation and shock. i'm supposed to be training my replacement this week, but i haven't met her yet, and i'm not eager to do so. i'm doing it because i care about my co-workers and don't want them left to clean up her mess - not because i'm an altruist.
and i think about what i'm going to do next. i sent in an updated resume to the contracting company and applied for one position online yesterday. also found a couple of others that look alright.
the thing is that i've never found a job i like. and i went to seminary partly because i thought if i couldn't do something i liked, at least i could do something meaningful...but i'm starting to wonder, what if that's not enough. what if meaning isn't enough? what if i need to actually like what i do to find satisfaction at work?
i have kind a "grit your teeth and bear it" attitude about the parts of my job i dont' like. i get through it, but i don't like it and i have this crazy idea that i shouldn't have to hate what i do...or even a large part of what i do. and i can't help but wonder if this isn't part of why i haven't had more luck getting a job i want....because i'm never sure that it's going to be something i love - because i haven't done it before - and because part of what i hate is selling myself.
how do ya'll handle this when you are in that position? do you like what you do?

finances are a concern with me being laid off and i feel a lot of pressure to get a job NOW. the kittens were expensive. getting them fixed will be expensive. the medical bills from this summer and fixing ross's motorcycle and my car was expensive. plane tickets to dc are expensive. xmas is expensive.
and this morning my phone wouldn't turn on. i have asked ross to look at it while i'm gone today because he's amazing. if you have called me and i don't call you back - it is because it still won't turn on. i am trying not to worry about any of this and just not spend anything.


2eclipse: (Default)

August 2009

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