2eclipse: (knitting)
that was my weekend.
all of the predicted people came over, and that went well. we entertained scott and heidi and the girls and went in the hot tub, and everyone liked the lasagna, which is awesome for 9-year-olds who don't normally like vegies.
saturday amy came over in the evening and i taught her to knit. we will see how much she remembers the next time i see her.
i got a GREAT deal of spinning done. 2 more skeins worth.
it is all slubby as desired. but i'm not at all sure of my consistancy.
which means that i can swatch all i want, i will still not be sure that the skeins will match up. the ruler test might help.
i am still pleased to have accomplished so much, and i may even have enough spun for one more skein, which would put me at 7 total. i got a spinning t-shirt at the gym when i was there last week. it is brown and blue and just says "spinning" on it. and i know that it means the kind you do on a bicycle, but i take great pleasure in the fact that i can mean it two ways.
i also made significant progress on my clapotis, which is very soft and blue and will go with lots of things. there is a part of me that wishes i had made it in a heavier yarn - say, worsted weight. but i suppose i can always make another one and give this one away if i feel it suits someone else better.

sunday ryan came over and...is doing terrible, but not bad for someone who is grieving. i am worried about him.

ross and i are trying to decide what to do with our tax return. a new microwave is definitely in the plans since the one we have is tempermental about when it wants to work. and getting the dishwasher fixed. but i am in favor of hanging onto it and just getting it repaired rather than replacing it so that we can make some more progress on the basement. we will also be getting a water softener for our shower. i am hoping this will be a big improvement.

work today is good in that i can pretty much zone out with my ipod and do busywork. but i'm already annoyed at one of my co-workers. she asks me how to do things and then goes and asks other people and does the easy thing rather than the right thing. i feel very impatient with that. if she doesn't want to do what i tell her, she shouldn't waste my time asking me.

we are supposed to get more snow this week. i'm not sure how much. i expect we will have several more snowfalls before spring is here for good. at least it is warmer.
2eclipse: (brainy chic)
this weekend was deeply good for me.
like going to a spa without actually going to a spa.

friday night ross and i watched some sopranos from netflix. ross got our new media server up and running and we can both vnc into it from our computers to use it in an environment where the mouse is easier to use. best of all - i can use it to run my ipod. i actually have a working ipod for the first time in about 5 months!!! anyone out there with a podcast, let me know what it is!!!
...then we got into this really long complicated conversation about our relationship...and it was much needed, but i had been dreading it. and then when we talked i found it was nothing to dread. we are getting better and better at this kind of communication. less and less often do our differences become something i would call a fight and he would call an argument. more and more we are a team. i wish i didn't have so many resistances to thinking anyone could honestly be out for my best interest....but damn it all if ross doesn't keep proving it. and slowly. i open.
which is funny. i mean, i really thought of myself as open...but marriage is teaching me that it's untrue. i've been open only in the ways i want to be. only in the ways it is comfortable, or that make me look good to myself. real openness includes all the things you hate about yourself....and i feel like i keep discovering those - the places i didn't know i was hiding.
i am very in love with ross anderson.

then saturday i got up and went to my spinning group, which was delightful, even if it was a bit hard to leave the house in the cold. i came home, made mac n' cheese with bison hotdogs for lunch and then went to the gym and spent a half hour on the eliptical machine. it was the first time i'd used one and i really enjoyed it. especially since i could use my ipod.
i got home, showered, and then christa came over and joined us for dinner, a little gaming and some batman. she's a nice lady. i also finished my slippery socks(pictures to come) while she was over and began my new clapotis. it will be interesting to see how long it takes me to make one now that i have a pretty good idea of how the pattern works. so far it seems to be going pretty fast. i think the deep blue color will be gorgeous when it is finished.
i am really hoping the slippery blue socks do not felt. arucania ranco has a bit of a reputation, and i put way too much work into these for them to felt on me.

sunday ross and i got up early and headed out to montevideo to see his family. we had lunch with his grandparents and set dates for our september vaction with them. at this point the plan is to take a week and a half and go to yellowstone and the grand titons. i am hoping things will not be ridiculously crowded since we are going after labor day. the idea is that we will do breakfast and lunch with his grandparents and then spend the day doing whatever we want in the area - biking, hiking, horse-back riding, sitting in the natural springs....i've never been to that part of the country before and i am pretty excited about it. the boss has already given me a tentative yes - which i was pretty much counting on with more than six months notice. of course...we will have to see if i'm even in the same job at that point. 3M has extended all it's contract workers contracts for a year, but now that my computer is working again (thanks to ross), i am going to be looking.
i have also decided to sign up here to do some volunteering with adult literacy. it's $30 or so for the training, but i've about accepted that i'm not going to be in my feild for a while. so if i'm going to give back to my community i need to find a different way to do it for now. and i think i would enjoy this.

we have been using our fireplace a LOT. i turn it on for a few minutes in the morning while i do my sit-ups and feel good that i can be warm without heating up the whole house. then we often wind up using in the evenings.
and since my computer is working again - voila! you get a picture.
here it is, fully stained, tile in place, with mantle mounted. we are thinking maybe a big plant should go on top, although the cats feel it should be their private domain. we will see who wins. i'm not sure who's paw that is in the corner.

today it is cold, but it will be getting up to 37 by wednesday. i'm not ready for spring yet, but i can feel its approach.
our friend ryan's mother died a week ago of cancer and stroke. it was sudden and she was only 58. we are hoping to see him this week and i'm going to put together some goodies for him after he gets back from denver (on work). if you can keep him and his family in your prayers/meditations/whatever, i would be grateful.

also i have yarn. lots of yarn. mainly gotten for free at the knit out. i don't normally use acrylic or buy it. some acrylic is very nice, but i don't want to perpetrate use of something that doesn't really biodegrade....but i didn't buy this stuff, and some of it will be very good for charity knitting.
pictures for those of you who care )
2eclipse: (brunette)
i get very frustrated with her sometimes.
she wanted me to check to make sure she was doing something correctly today.
and i looked at the instructions and explained what she needed to do and pointed at the parts of the screen she needed to pay attention to and she said okay.
so i started to go back to my desk and she said "where are you going?!"
me: well, you know what you are doing.
t: but i wanted you to stay with me to make sure i do it right.
i go over help her through the first part and go back to my desk again.
me: see you know what you are doing.
t: sometimes i just want someone to tell me what to do and not [have to]do anythinking.
me: well that would be nice, but that's not the job.
t: (sarcastically)oh well thank you.

...i am not hired to babysit. as it is i am doing my job as well as most of hers. and if i spend all my time watching to make sure she does her job correctly, i don't get any work done myself. how is that _I_ am the one left feeling bad about this?

tgif
2eclipse: (brainy chic)

home again home again jiggety jig.

a whole 2 weeks off.
man has that been great!
i haven't had a break like that in years...at least...not one that didn't also qualify as unemployment, which does NOT feel like vacation.

family and xmas stuff )

new years and friend stuff )

i saw two movies while i was on break. no spoilers below.
seven pounds was the first. and i will say it was enjoyable. but it was not at all what i expected from the preview. i expected something of an action/mystery movie...instead it was a disjoined emotional roller coaster. it was well acted and well directed and is based on a great idea....but i don't think it was well written. it is not a movie i will want to watch again. 2 stars.
doubt, on the other hand, was probably the finest movie i've seen since pan's labrynth, although completely different from that movie. it was extremely finely crafted in just about every way i can think of. it is about a power conflict in a catholic school - so the subject matter will not be to everyone's taste. but it was right up my alley. to start with, the acting was nothing short of exquisite. meryl streep is always good, but this time she is complimented by the rest of the cast performing right up to her caliber - even the children and small roles are excellent and sometimes powerful and poignant. the set is great, really showing the shabbiness and industrial feel of 1960's east coast catholic schools. every piece of furniture looks like it is from exactly the right period (to my untrained eye, anyway). everything in this movie looks appropriate to the time - and this is important because although this movie touches on issues of sexuality that have profound relevance for our church and society today, there was a different attitude about many of these things (this is set just just after kennedy's assasinaction - about the time of the second vatican council 1962-1965), and a powerful force of change in the church. which brings me to the direction. which is great. the story is told in a linear way with powerful use of expressions in silence. wind is used continuously through the movie, representing change. positions are suggested rather than stated. questions are almost not asked between characters, and yet are clearly communicated all the while extending to the audience and suggesting profound theological insights. This movie is directed in a way that draws you deeper and deeper into the questions instead of solidifying your opinions. not to say you will not have an opinion about what really happens at the end of the movie. but your opinion will be just that. only an opinion. and the audience as well as the characters must take a good look at the meaning and the value of doubt. it gets 5 stars in my book. :)

i arrived home on friday night.
ross picked me up. we had a truly lovely friday night/saturday, making the most of my last couple of days with no alarm clock and staying up late. all the warmth and affection of the past two weeks seemed to drift between us. we watched the 10th kingdom (one of my stocking gifts to ross) and i loved it.  i ignored the phone and left the grocery list alone. i cuddled my very-missed cats.
sunday was spent with the in-laws and was boring and tedious and uncomfortable - but not as bad as it could be. we came home with a great deal of bison meat, a dvd of old johnny carson comedy acts, and some stuff we will have to re-gift as neither of us like cashews much. we got the xmas tree down and the dvd collection moved and the corner of our living room is ready to be viewed by the fireplace people who are coming to see if we have a reasonable hope of getting a gas fireplace installed. it will be gas, and not what either of us would most like. but it will greatly improve our quality of life to have a fireplace in the house, so a compromise is in order. we will see what we can do.

work today is still pretty slow, which is very nice. and a lot got cleaned up over the holiday lull. i am about half-way through the e-mails that piled up while i was gone. rachel and jerad are planning to come to dinner tomorrow and we are hoping to see susan and corrin later in the week.
2eclipse: (Default)
the show last night was excellent if somewhat different from the movie.
i missed seeing all of the facial expressions up close, and some of the subtlety was lost due to it, but there was very nice juxtaposition of the shadowlands story with the story in "the magician's nephew". the actor playing cs lewis actually reminded me a good deal of [livejournal.com profile] kurosawa2005in his affect and mannerisms.

i am leaving for virginia on MONDAY!!!!5 more days and i will be there for almost 2 whole weeks! i am really looking forward to vacation.
dana has asked me if i want to go to new york for new years....the answer is that i'm not sure. i would love to see her more and go to a big party and see allan piper. BUT it is right before i fly home and i'm not sure i want all the craziness and i'm not really sure what my options are for new years in dc/va.

i had terrible dreams last night. ross was doing heroine and slept with one of my best friends. i was SO worried about him and angry with him. i woke up thinking about how i could take care of myself if he went nuts and out of control. luckily he woke up too and a minute or two of connecting with the real ross as opposed to the creepy one in my dream did me a world of good.

i continue to love my job. my boss tells me she sleeps better at night because i am there and i am unofficially in charge of one of my co-workers even though we are technically on the same level. i am definitely the kind of employee who thrives on praise. the more credit i am given, the more i will bust ass to excel. my boss supports my decisions and gives me responsibility and i just love it. and the whole group of us laugh together with the exception of A who is just a sourpuss all the time even when i try to include her.

i also got the last of my packages mailed out! i feel truly accomplished. i actually won't have to worry if they will get there on time or not.
the only family not bought for are my in-laws and they are ross's responsibility.
i keep feeling like i've forgotten to do something though. stress has shadowed me so constantly that when it's suddenly not there it comes as a shock.

things left to do:
drug store for prescription refills and candy canes for work
grocery store to stock up on cat litter before going out of town
buy membership at community center gym
helping ross with whatever he decides with his parents.
get the guest room ready for andrea
laundry
pack
vacuum

i actually have time to do all this!
then there is the "if i get to it list"
extra knitting projects
dry clean the spare comforter
cookies
2eclipse: (brunette)
ross's surgery yesterday went very well. the doctor reports that now he may feel that this side of his nose is more open than the other side. he called me this morning after having packing removed and that went well too, although he's pretty dopey from pain meds.
we got out of the surgery clinic around 1pm yesterday and got him settled in the house by 2.
it was good to have the afternoon off. i got a much need nap after making the rounds on phone calls and watched sopranos with ross and mulled cider on the stove and finished my xmas candy. now i just have to get tins for packaging and ship them out. that will be a big load off my mind.

i worked overtime on tuesday and might today and tomorrow depending on how i am feeling. i'm still trying to be a bit careful so that i don't lapse back into being sick, but i have a lot of work to do and we can really use the money from the hours i can make up. this will be the third short week for me in a row and all that xmas stuff gets expensive. monday i will be moving back over to MRO and let me tell you i can't wait. i will be so glad to leave all these match exceptions that require digging behind and go back to a fast paced group of good people (with one exception).

susan is coming over tonight and i need to figure out what i'm doing for dinner.
also we have snow. about 4 inches at the moment and more expected this week.
2eclipse: (brunette)
damnitstupidwhoeveryouare listeningtoxmasmusicbeforethanksgivingandmakingmelistentoo!!!

there are days when i think headphones should be required at work.

and i think it is one of the managers....sigh

woot!

Nov. 14th, 2008 12:37 pm
2eclipse: (eclipse)
all you people crossing fingers for me?

it worked.
i am officially NOT laid off anymore. i will work out my contract - which is till july.
i will continue to buy chemicals and radioactive material(my current commodities) and then move back over to the maintenance repair group to work with the lead i like best anyway, and who really wants to hire me. :)
MADE OF AWESOME! she has already okayed my time off at xmas and i will be MUCH less bored over there.
and it will give me much more breathing room for finding a new job.

all in all i would say that as crazy as it has been, this job switching has been good for me. i have learned a lot about how the different groups are run, i've made new friends at work, and i've made a damn fine impression on 3M, including the people who make decisions about hiring. and i've realized a lot of things about myself and what i want and what i'm good at. i am very pleased.

i'm going to keep looking. but i'm also going to give myself a breather til after xmas.
2eclipse: (Default)
odd, but good.

i woke up and ross was already up because he went to bed really early yesterday and had insomnia. i NEVER get to see him in the morning, so it was really nice - and really hard to leave as a result. the kitties were also abnormally sweet and cuddly and i wanted to stay with them.

i found out the co-worker i am replacing was saying things about me, not just other co-workers...stuff about how he was going to get me away from ross and that ross was working late hours and leaving me lonely.....

news to me. i would have laughed in his face if i had caught wind of it. he was talking about a lot of other women at work...including that he wanted to motorboat our boss's boss....i didn't know what that was. i had to be told. now the mental pictures makes me giggle constantly. you don't know my boss's boss.

regardless it makes me feel less like an asshole taking his place.

and today i has basically been a fun day. i've worked - but not been training anyone. and i've basically been cleaning up old stuff that i haven't had a chance to do, which is very refreshing.i had 68 invoice problems at the beginning of today. now i have 13. pretty awesome.
and taya (my latest trainee) took me out for lunch as a thank you. very nice. she took me to this awesome vietnamese/chinese place that has a great vegetarian selection. i was very happy to find it.
unfortunately robyn (the boss's boss's boss) says she isn't allowed to hire non-3Mers yet.

i have cat stevens going around in my head today.

that is all
2eclipse: (eclipse)
so i found out today that one of my friends at work has been let go. a permanent employee, not contract like me.
and it is his position that i'm going to be filling for at least the next 2 weeks.
and that feels sketchy. i liked this guy. we went and got tea together almost every day for a while. i feel bad that i couldnt' say goodbye.
but i also found out that he was being a real creep to others in NOT OKAY ways.
i don't know how to feel about my good fortune being at his expense.

good fortune being another 2 weeks paychecks, and the immense goodwill of my co-workers/supervisors, etc.
my agency called me and told me they had been told how grateful 3M is for my positive attitude. that feels good and i earned it. it just feels weird to replace a friend.

i took leto in to be fixed last night. the breeder decided she didn't want to use him as a stud, so there was no real reason to keep him whole.  the vet called this morning and said everything went really well this morning, but he kept kicking the anaesthesia needle out of his leg, so he mostly had gas and might be awake enough for me to take home this afternoon instead of tomorrow. that would be very good.

i am re-reading the foundation trilogy by isaac asimov and am enjoying it tremendously. i normally don't care for books that aren't character driven, but this is a notable exception. i don't fall in love with asimov's characters, because it isn't who they are that is important. what is important is what they think. his characters come up with ideas that no one else in the story has and that the forward progress of the story depends on. they are idea-driven rather than character driven or even plot driven and it is very exciting. i love the underlying believe that it is ideas that make people great. i don't believe it is the only thing that can make someone great, but what a wonderful thing when it happens! i have never read anything like asimov's work, although vernor vinge's work is clearly influenced by it.

it snowed all morning here but nothing stuck. we expect more snow tomorrow. it is so beautiful and exciting at the beginning of winter.  i feel energized by it. i have always associated "over the river and through the woods" with thanksgiving, rather than xmas, so it feels right to have snow this time of year to me.
tonight susan is coming over. we haven't seen her in about 2 months because she's been so busy with school.
tomorrow i expect to be canning with corrin, knitting, drinking cider/cocoa and weather permitting - playing vampire tag. it is looking like a good weekend.

ummmm....

Nov. 5th, 2008 10:38 am
2eclipse: (brainy chic)
update.
they want me for another 2 weeks. just not sure for which department. it seems that they are arguing over who gets me.
that feels kinda nice. :)
2eclipse: (Default)
but i have a lot to say.
first and foremost a very happy 80th birthday today to my father, jim hall, who in many ways is the cornerstone of who i am. many happy returns dad.

my family all gathered in va last friday from our various parts of the country, minnesota, north carolina and connecticut in order to celebrate this important birthday. we surprised him. :)
my father is the kind of man who ALWAYS underestimates how important he is to others. he would NEVER have asked us to come together to celebrate him, a  mere 2 months before we will see one another for xmas. all he asked for from us was a letter. but we all wanted to do it. and we all did it. and my sister scrap-booked the letters, and she did a great job.
if you have parents you love/get along with, my advice is to tell them now, while they are still around. it feels good to them and to you. i am blessed beyond words to have the relationships i have with my parents.

in other news, this is (finally) my last week at 3M. there is a piece of me that is looking forward to change even though i'm anxious about being jobless. at least one of my co-workers wants to take me out for lunch on friday.  it has been mostly a good experience working here, and adds a lot to my understanding of how businesses work. we'll see where it gets me. next week i expect to drive out to montevideo to help my father in law assemble stills that he has to ship out to the US embassy in mexico by the end of december. it is a huge order and he needs the help, and we borrowed some money from him back when i had my car accident and needed a new car. so maybe i can work off our debt to him. it does mean that i will not have much access to lj next week. i have still not heard back from the u of m, but there are other jobs i've applied for, both there and elsewhere.

i am very proud of the way my country, and my county voted yesterday. obama is not my perfect president. but keeping a fundamentalist (sarah palin) out of the white house was a priority for me, and i believe obama will do a good job. i am pleased that there will be a re-count on norm coleman's win. i am pleased that betty mccullom continues as my district's representative. i am proud that my county voted strongly to put greater protections on our water resources. i doubt the democrats will keep their lead in congress. i think the anti-bush trend had a huge impact on this election and the powerful force against continuing his policies was a drag on mccain/palin.  i don't think we will see this kind of momentum in 4 years. but i am glad we see it now.
2eclipse: (Default)
EDIT: confirmed. i have another 2 weeks to a month here.

people at my workplace are sometimes awfully silly.
they won't hire me because i'm nota 3m-er and they have to hire someone who got laid off somewhere else....but i'm filling in for A so that she can move to M's position because M got a new position elsewhere.
but the people here love me and want me hired. my new supervisor loves me - she tried to get me into her group when i was originally brought in, but my experience with electronics gave the austin team dibs on me. the EDI people love me. the vendormaster group loves me - and wants me hired because i actually understand how their side of the business works and i don't make their lives harder. my boss's boss took me aside and thanked me for staying....and none of it equals a continued paycheck.

A also took a couple of days off before the transition.
then she e-mailed in to say she'll be out til nov.3rd. not asking. telling. and my supervisor is covering her new position while she's out. this lasts longer than my last day (the 17th). so i went to D(my supervisor) and told her i'd be willing to move to cover for the position so she didn't have to...and she looked really relieved, but said she's actually hoping to keep me where i am longer and was hoping i'd be willing. they are still interviewing for the position. they haven't found anyone who suits. D thinks it will be the end of october at the earliest and more likely the middle of november....naturally i said yes...but that i will be out the 31st and let them know if i get a job in the meantime. so i should find out this week if my repreive has been extended.
2eclipse: (Default)
so my phone is working again. i think it is just a matter of the battery dying and not having enough juice to turn on even when it's plugged in....

and it turns out work wants to keep me til the 17th instead of only til the 3rd. this doesn't sound like much, but it's two more weeks of pay and i'm glad to have it.
it makes me feel less guilty about going camping this weekend...but it was planned really far ahead and i don't think it's going to cost much to go.

also i talked with my darling ceci yesterday and it was very refreshing. she continues to exceed my expectations of how cool people should be able to be.

laid off

Sep. 26th, 2008 12:39 pm
2eclipse: (brunette)
guess who? me, that's who.
at least it's not my birthday.
my last day is next friday.
absolutely nothing to do with my performance and everything to do with the fact that people in other divisions are losing their positions and they want to fill mine with one of them.
never mind that i've had better than a year of experience here.

ross is wonderful and has only said "okay. we'll deal with it"...and nothing in the slightest bit blaming.
for which i am very grateful.
and i've got a LOT of people here who will be sorry to see me go and on whom i can count for recommendations.

prayers or whatever your faith allows over the next week would be very welcome.

headdesk

Sep. 12th, 2008 10:18 am
2eclipse: (Default)
i got to work 1.75 hrs late today.

i dreamed it was saturday and turned off my alarm.

now i can't seem to get my composure together.

crap.
2eclipse: (brunette)
i think everyone at 3M got together and had a party over the three day weekend and took STUPID PILLS and the effects haven't worn off yet.

good grief

Aug. 14th, 2008 02:45 pm
2eclipse: (Default)
this week has been really good in almost every way until today. work has been good, after work has been even better. ross is overworking himself and making himself sick, but since i can't do anything about it when he's not around, i restrain my worry to the times when i can do something about it. we have lovely rain (that we need) and i have gotten to spin and see heather kieweg and there will be canning on saturday. i sleep well and i have energy to do things when i come home. everything was good til today.
today seems to be over-loaded with stupid.

dear stupid-day,
please stop being stupid. please stop giving me your stupid. i don't need it.
love me
2eclipse: (brunette)
dear IT.

it is very difficult to do my job when your application is booting me and my co-workers out every 5 seconds.

thanks,

me
2eclipse: (brunette)
earlier this week i dreamt about skydiving.
i think last night was the pay-off. that and a combination of the book i'm reading and my current unhappiness with VOLT. i dreamed that i was kidnapped by friends from high school, college and game and held blind-folded in an old house until i lost my job for missing too much work without calling. what's worse is that even my closest friends were part of it and didn't stop it. they didn't understand the magnitude of what they had done or that losing my job was a big deal. i decided to file a police report.
but i wasn't sure how to go about it and so i talked to my parents...and realized that it wasn't just these two horrible things, but also that i was psychologically damaged from being previously kidnapped by someone who meant it badly and who had celebrity connections and didn't need to fear the law for some reason. i then re-lived that incedent. the kidnapper's mother was sympathetic, but completely unhelpful. i was released when the kidnapper found a new interest. so what might have been a scary, but otherwise harmless prank (my friends didn't beat me or starve me or anything), became much, much worse because of the previous kidnapping and the fact that i lost my job. my mother fell asleep while i was trying to tell her about it to get her advice and my father left and went in the hot tub.
it was awful.

jungian analysis )

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