2eclipse: (Default)
 in a long time.
even with all i have to do.
even with all that is less than perfect in my life.
it is mostly true that if my primary relationship is doing well, i can manage everything else.
and i actually got to see my husband for a while yesterday. and it was very good.
i got to see him a bit saturday too, but he was mostly asleep for that. sunday was the good day for ross time. and it's a good thing too, because he is working to day on his designated day off because [livejournal.com profile] magikayand [livejournal.com profile] lada93had their baby!! congratulations guys!!!

i have had a lovely couple of days.
last week i had long talks with [livejournal.com profile] illusionstarand ceci and my parents. my world is more complete with them in it. i want to maintain
the peace of mind i need to keep in active touch with them.

friday i hung out with [personal profile] selkie_band her husband and had a fantastic time! it was the first time i'd really TALKED to dave and i'm really glad. it's not often i meet couples who are balanced in coolness. definitely looking forward to getting to know them better.
and figuring out WHAT i want to sew....which is difficult because right now most of the things i can think of i a)don't want to make until i loose a couple pants sizes or b)won't teach me the things i want to know because they are too simple.

saturday i cleaned and then christa came over and we had serious girl time.
we went SHOPPING which is something i hardly ever do. and picked up some yarn for her so she could learn to knit! i gave her some lessons and she picked it up really fast! i also made a lot of progress on my twilight mitts and actually got one of them finished on sunday!

the cats are out of dry food and are not happy about having been on a wet food diet until i can get to the petfood store today after work. but i just couldn't bring myself to leave the house yesterday. it was raining terrificly and it was so cozy in the house. so instead i finished my mitt, finished a book (unlundun by china mieville, which was pretty good), and hennaed my hair (dark brown) and laughed when it made my hair darker and shinier, but didn't cover any of the grey!
ross and i played lots of computer games online and just in general had a nice time. all's well.

as to what i have left to do: )
2eclipse: (brainy chic)
my back continues to cause me less pain for greater amounts of time. i am completely off the heavy drugs. i am mostly off the alleve.
even went to the gym yesterday and did a half-hour on the elliptical, cool down around the track and some short time with the weight machines. mostly i'm just avoiding twisting motions or heavy lifting.
good stuff.

it is a beautiful day today in the twin cities. it is predicted that today will be the first day reaching 80 degrees since last september. i really wanted to ride my bike to work today...but i need to take the time to fill my tires and get a bike lock that can handle the super-thick locking options i have at 3m. also i didn't get up early enough.
also savil needed some serious butt-trimming this morning(yuck). she didn't let me finish, but she is much less matted & stinky than previously. i think i'm going to need someone to hold her for me to finish.

the routine of working the same daily hours has been good for me to get back to. having a schedule stabilizes me a lot. i'm taking the down-time i need, but i've also been making a point of getting at least SOME chores done around the house every day. it is going a long way toward keeping me sane and keeping the house clean. especially since ross isn't around to help much.

he woke me at 4am this morning to tell me he had a great night at work and everything was coming together and he missed me. and bless him, i WANT him to wake me to tell me things like that. but i could NOT get back to sleep afterward, and i wasn't sleeping well BEFORE he woke me, so i'm feeling it today.

i had a long talk with ceci last night and then my parents.
it was good to re-connect with all of them. i have been so run-down by trying to do too much, and i have been neglecting the people i try to keep in contact with by phone. i miss ross, and i miss doing things with him, but i also feel like his being at work so much is giving me a chance to breathe. i think i need to figure out how to stop sacrificing my down-time so much, especially since he really doesn't need me to (he has said so). the distance gives me time to reflect. it just seems funny that i should need so badly to reflect on such basic things.
it isn't that i'm not being social though. returning long distance phone calls counts as social for me.
also i've been seeing lots of susan lately, which is lovely, going to knitting/spinning groups and today i am getting together with victoria, who i'm not sure i've mentioned before here. she's way cool. i met her on the knitting camping trip last fall. she just had her NINTH baby! most of her pregnancies happened while she was on birth control and there was one set of twins, so don't judge her as another octomom. also she's married and stable.
she's also very funny and creative and cool to be with. i quite like her.
tomorrow is getting together with marie for spinning/knitting whatever and saturday i will be hanging out with christa and ross before he has to go to work in the evening.

i am still enjoying gregory frost - i'm on his second shadowbridge book now, lord tophet. i continue to be pleased with this new find. they have some of the feel of neil gaiman's neverwhere - without neil's darkness. we'll see if this one ends better than the last one.

also i still have not seen watchmen and am put out about it. i was going to see it with ross, but he has no time now and every one else has already seen it.
i have been re-watching the 10th kingdom. the logical result of this is that i have THE TROLL version of saturday night fever going around in my head endlessly. i am simultaneously amused and annoyed.
2eclipse: (brainy chic)
but the dream didn't quite make it to reality. i also dreamed about work. figures.
actually, i kinda slept for shit last night in general.
i will pay for that today, but so far the caffeine is sustaining me nicely.

mostly ross and i had a quiet weekend of bashing heads with diablo ii and some online friends. beat the game and are talking about going back for the nightmare level. it should be interesting.
amy came over for a while saturday, and then we wound up going to hell's kitchen sunday in celebration of her birthday and afterward hitting the macy's flower show. it wasn't anything as spectacular as the philadelphia flower show - this is something put on for free by a corporate headquarters. still it smelled good and there were many hyacinths. we have yet to have anything really blooming here yet (and actually had a dusting of snow sunday morning), so seeing all the color was really nice.
hell's kitchen, as always, is spectacular. how can you go wrong with bloody marys and bison sausage? it was the first time we've been to their new location and i had 2 cups of coffee, not realizing how late it was - hence the sleeping for shit last night.

i finished peony in love by lisa see. it is WAY more fanciful than snow flower and the secret fan, but it had a similar feel. if you liked the one, you will probably like the other.
i am currently working on a book called shadowbridge by gregory frost. i am loving the premise. we'll see if it stays good. if it's all as good as the beginning however, i may have to read everything this guy has written.

it is official that i will be attending the nuptuals one [livejournal.com profile] kfringe to the beautiful and brilliant [livejournal.com profile] crowyhead. i'm not going to croquet and i'm not going to estes. i'm damned if i'm also missing this! i am terribly excited to finally meet her in person as well as some of the rest of the philly knitting/lj/book-reading crowd that seems to surround her. but it also sounds like there will also be many johnnies attending. also they are getting married in a bar. only [livejournal.com profile] kfringe. admittedly it is sounding like a damn good time. hopefully ross will be able to come with me and will not have another musical.

i still have not seen watchmen. this needs to happen.

also cirque du soliel will be in town the weekend of july 3rd - which is AFTER ross's show and means he will be able to go. and might be while my folks are here - they have not confirmed if they are coming this summer or not. i would really like to get a big group of people together to go to this. [livejournal.com profile] patchhat?, [livejournal.com profile] sidhebear?, [livejournal.com profile] wilderheart and [livejournal.com profile] eltanin?, [livejournal.com profile] oneonajourney? any of you guys interested? any of you people i didn't mention?

this week is my last week of literacy training classes. i am REALLY looking forward to them being over. i want to be working with people, not sitting in a classroom feeling like my time is being wasted.

also my winter twilight mitts are starting to show how awesome they are going to be. i love the bright contrast of the colors. these are a very personal project. the cashmere was a gift from my brother and sister-in-law from the farm where my nephew works, hand-dyed and knit by me. lots of meaning compact into a little thing.

2eclipse: (knitting)
that was my weekend.
all of the predicted people came over, and that went well. we entertained scott and heidi and the girls and went in the hot tub, and everyone liked the lasagna, which is awesome for 9-year-olds who don't normally like vegies.
saturday amy came over in the evening and i taught her to knit. we will see how much she remembers the next time i see her.
i got a GREAT deal of spinning done. 2 more skeins worth.
it is all slubby as desired. but i'm not at all sure of my consistancy.
which means that i can swatch all i want, i will still not be sure that the skeins will match up. the ruler test might help.
i am still pleased to have accomplished so much, and i may even have enough spun for one more skein, which would put me at 7 total. i got a spinning t-shirt at the gym when i was there last week. it is brown and blue and just says "spinning" on it. and i know that it means the kind you do on a bicycle, but i take great pleasure in the fact that i can mean it two ways.
i also made significant progress on my clapotis, which is very soft and blue and will go with lots of things. there is a part of me that wishes i had made it in a heavier yarn - say, worsted weight. but i suppose i can always make another one and give this one away if i feel it suits someone else better.

sunday ryan came over and...is doing terrible, but not bad for someone who is grieving. i am worried about him.

ross and i are trying to decide what to do with our tax return. a new microwave is definitely in the plans since the one we have is tempermental about when it wants to work. and getting the dishwasher fixed. but i am in favor of hanging onto it and just getting it repaired rather than replacing it so that we can make some more progress on the basement. we will also be getting a water softener for our shower. i am hoping this will be a big improvement.

work today is good in that i can pretty much zone out with my ipod and do busywork. but i'm already annoyed at one of my co-workers. she asks me how to do things and then goes and asks other people and does the easy thing rather than the right thing. i feel very impatient with that. if she doesn't want to do what i tell her, she shouldn't waste my time asking me.

we are supposed to get more snow this week. i'm not sure how much. i expect we will have several more snowfalls before spring is here for good. at least it is warmer.
2eclipse: (brainy chic)

this weekend was a blast.
good in all kinds of ways.
friday i went out to dinner with a couple of co-workers at a vietnamese bistro. i almost never get vietnamese food and this was wonderful. then we went out to the jonathan coulton concert at the history theater.
oh my god it was awesome!.

concerty goodness )
saturday i got to sleep in and read , which was blissful. and then susan and i went x-country skiing, which was terrific. it was a little cold, but the sky was so clear and blue and amazing and the snow was deep and soft and new (being only about 2 days old - we got 6 inches on thursday). i'm pretty sure next time susan will bring her dog, guiness. he's a very good dog and we are slowly using him to aclaimate the kittens to the presence of dogs. he has done quite well with madeleine, who seems to think he is her personal toy. susan and i got dinner and then we all hung out at our place and watched batman and went in the hot tub, which was sorely needed.

sunday we were supposed to get together with ryan, but ne never called. ross and i hung out and watched movies and i knit and he worked on computer stuff. then we went out to dinner with ann and russ, who we haven't seen in an age. it was very satisfying. i feel sore in all the good ways from x-country skiing and it makes me feel like i earned my laziness on sunday. :)

ross and i continue to be very happy with the current lay-out of our living room, despite the crowd. the energy flow is just very nice. it feels good in that room. it makes me curious to find out what we have in all the corners according to feng shui. one of my girlfriends is a serious amateur with that stuff, i should probably consult her. i'm hoping we can do as well in the basement.

i signed up for those classes to get certified for teaching adult literacy as a volunteer and i'm feeling pretty good about it. i am beginning to feel like myself again. it is a good thing.

2eclipse: (brainy chic)
it's friday!!!!

and i finally got to the gym last night for spinning class. i feel SO good. good enough that i woke before my alarm and increased to 100 crunches this morning. my sets are 20, so increasing by one set seems to work for me. we'll see if it lasts. the thing is that even if it isn't true, i FEEL skinnier after i work out.
love those endorphins. then i came home and didn't have to cook! eggplant parmesan is better the second day anyway. all i did was make salad.

i have made a new friend at work. her name is kate. we have talked via e-mail for about two weeks and i am hoping to set up a coffee date to meet her in person. she grew up on a hobby farm in virginia(near richmond), likes to carve wood, read science fiction and fantasy, and game. she sounds awesome.

my computer at home is officially kaput. the hard drive blew out again. i am seriously thinking there is something wrong with the computer that keeps eating hard drives. goddamn zombie computer eating its own brains...

tonight christa will either come over or we will work on the mantle.
tomorrow we will game with shawn and thistle and john and tessa and tim wheatly and adam cerling and maybe some other people. then susan will come over for dinner and we will see her for the first time in literally months. sunday we will go to montevideo to see ross's grandparents. it will be a very busy weekend. if i'm lucky i will squeeze in some knitting.
2eclipse: (Default)
i made it back to mn and realized that there are no songs to sing about this area, state or cities. or at least i have never heard them. this is a crying shame.
new york has songs, philly has songs, new jersey and alabama and georgia and west virginia have songs, lots of cities in california have songs, st. louis has songs. chicago has a whole damn musical. there should be at least one song for this area.

going to chicago was very good and i'm glad i did it.
my grandpa is doing better than i thought. his eyes were bright and his humor was good and he ate quite a bit while i was there. he speaks only in a whisper due to half his throat being paralyzed, and he walks with a cane, but he hasn't given up on life and has high hopes for the treatment he is getting today. i am pleased and releaved that i don't have to plan on him dying soon.

and i think it was a good thing for the family in general that i was there. not that i did much besides make soup for grandpa and keep him company, but it was a healing thing that i (and my folks for that matter) showed up and proved our investment in the family. it was a weekend about duty.
i have mixed feelings about duty to family. part of me feels like things done only for the sake of duty are hollow, and that duty traps people with guilt in ways that are unhealthy.
but part of me feels like doing things out of duty alone can be a good thing. something to be proud of. something that builds character through doing the right thing even when it doesn't feel fun, or even especially about love. sometimes love is an ACTION, not a feeling....and it is okay for that to be all you have to give. we can't always choose how we feel, but we can choose what we do. our actions, our attitude....and duty can be an important way of showing love in a way that has the power to change us - even if we don't go into the act feeling loving. like i said....mixed feelings.

it was wonderful to see [livejournal.com profile] skia and [livejournal.com profile] pbergson. pam is possibly the best hostess ever. i am NOT used to having coffee preparations left out for me the night before. i had a nice time hanging out with them during the brief time we had together when i wasn't in la grange or woodridge.

i also forgot to call ross and let him know i was in safe. and i left my phone in the car (i thought it was in my bag)and so when he called i wasn't there and he freaked out. i felt terrible for a lot of the weekend for scaring him. then i came home and found that he had put the tile up around the fireplace and put sub-flooring down in the main room of the basement. he astonishes me.

sometimes the world really socks it to me in ways that bring me face to face with my own hubris. it is an uncomfortable awareness that i value, but don't know how to hang on to.

also. i'm so tires i almost didn't come to work this morning. i am wiped in a way i can't even describe. i need a week of down-time.
2eclipse: (Default)
i don't have to work on the house tonight!

wednesday i signed up for a new class at the gym. straight up strength. and i lasted about 15 minutes. 15 minutes of solid squats! it reminded of rob holbrock's hard-core fencing exercises in college! my quads are still in a state of mutiny every time i get up from my chair.
after 15 minutes i packed up and went back to the locker room. so i GOT a great work out. just one much shorter than i anticipated.
in anycase i had more work when i got home.
somehow i had this INSANE idea that tidying up the electrical would be quick and simple.
shows how much i know.
we had a bunch of panels in the basement ceiling that needed covers - but the covers we had didn't fit. they had to be cut with a saw and drilled with the dewalt cordless. we also needed blanks and switch plates for the wall plates. we had to put box extenders in the bedroom outlets in case the inspector needed to visit the fuse box. a trip to home-depot took care of the bits we didn't have right after we dropped my car off for service. the fireplace needed an electrical hook-up as well.
then we also had to hang the new(used)star lamp in the stairway. it looks great there and casts all kinds of neat shadows on the stairs, but it also needs dusting on the inside. a big thanks to susan for finding it for us.
we finished about 9:30.

yesterday we picked up my car and moved all the furniture in the living room. i think it is going to look really sharp when the fireplace is complete. ross finally hooked up the surround sound when he was putting the entertainment system together again. lo and behold, the picture on the tv looks better! i'm not sure what it is, but when we finally got a chance to just sit and hang out and watch a movie at the end of the day, the picture was brighter and clearer. a very nice bonus to re-setting everything. :)
it felt like a miracle to not be working last night. i don't even remember the last time i did that.
next week will be a WHOLE WEEK that i can plan to DO THINGS in the evening! or simply choose to do nothing. this is very exciting.

today i will be driving to chicago to see the family directly after work. ross will not be coming with me as he needs to work this evening. six hours in the car with limited music options, as my ipod is still tempermental about when it decides it wants to behave. it will be great to see my folks, and [livejournal.com profile] skia and [livejournal.com profile] pbergson, but i am wary about what this weekend will bring. i have a feeling that some of the tensions that have been brewing between my immediate family and the rest of mom's side of the family may get ugly and public....with various possibilities for outcome. we'll see. there are many reasons for tension and with stress high?.....anything is possible. i hope that there is good resolution if a blow-out has to happen.
aunt kathy reports that grandpa seems better....but i'm not sure if this is wishful thinking or reality. i will know better after i see him tomorrow. please keep us in your prayers.
2eclipse: (brainy chic)
things are coming together nicely after so much hard work.
last night was spent cleaning the basement/stairs/kitchen and making dinner(me) and framing up the fireplace (ross and john).
the covers need to go on the outlets, but that's a nothing-job. the dust is gone!*dances* the guys did a great job with the framing, which looks really solid. the inspector comes tomorrow.
i have arranged to have new tires put on my rear tires and a new thermostat installed, so we will drop off my car tonight after my work-out. ross will work from home tomorrow, so i will take his car.
i have arranged to stay with [livejournal.com profile] skia and [livejournal.com profile] pbergson this weekend while seeing my ill grandpa (bless you guys, you are awesome!). they are very kind given the short notice.
i have e-mailed my harried aunt to find out what i can do to take work off her hands this weekend.
my gym bag is packed and in the car so i can go directly after work.
lunch for the week in the form of leftovers is already in the fridge as a result of 5 days of cooking for 4...
really all the hard work is paying off.
it feels good.

now i just have to get my ipod organized and decide what knitting to take this weekend.
definitely the slippery socks...but what else?
2eclipse: (brainy chic)
so the house is...a bit closer to being done.
friday night i went to the gym for spinning class...which had a different instructor and didn't kick my ass nearly as much as the first time i went. i'd like to think my muscles are in a bit better shape, but in reality it's probably just the change of style from the instructor.
regardless, i didn't get much done on the house since i was wiped and ross was working. i did get some knitting time in on my owl socks though.
the socks got finished today. )

saturday ross and i started late, but made good time.
we cleared out what WILL be our bathroom, put in some electric and drywalled two of the walls, then cleaned up and put everything back in...after which i went and watched a movie with darla, who continues to be one of my favorite people in the area. her and her husband john both just rock my world.

today jory was supposed to come help us...but wound up having problems with one of his eyes and having to go to the doctor. reports today that he will be okay, but he can't see very well right now and shouldn't drive for a couple of days.
me being scared of heights and the ceiling needing to go up first....we didn't get as much done today as we hoped. we got one big ceiling piece up and one of the wall pieces and knocked down the other wall and cleaned it up so we can put clean drywall in. it's still progress, but not as much as we'd like.
john (did i mention he and darla are awesome?) volunteered for punishment to help out tomorrow so we'll see how much progress we get done this week.

pics behind the cut! )


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August 2009

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